[Hank's Mail]Escape from Seoul

Dear all,


Good morning!



Most of you may be sick and tired of the incessant rainfalls that have severely affected low lands, including seaboard and central region. You probably miss sunlight now, although that may come hand in hand with a sweltering heat wave.

No sweat. As the sun surely rises upon the moon-set, the wet monsoon has ended with heat waves aggravated recently by global warming. At the onset of summer, the World Meteorology Organization is concerned about extraordinary spells of heat resulting in widespread power outages and thousands of human deaths from heat stroke in tandem.

This year heat waves have already swept the entire globe including North America, South Asia and Europe. Particularly, Sweden, Croatia and Bulgaria were badly hit. It will be crying for the moon if we wish to go without a heat wave this summer. Instead, we should accommodate ourselves to the laws of nature.


Let’s escape from dystopian Seoul by taking a summer break! Don’t worry about the skeletal office. If you’ve already taken a summer break, try to remain in cool areas such as an air-conditioned office, bookstores, supermarkets, department stores and theaters.

A recently released computer graphic (CG) predominant Korean movie, D-War, is drawing people’s attention by breaking the box-office record in the shortest span of running time, which was stamped by the movie Monster, released around this time of last year. D-War is directed by Hyungrae Shim, the most popular comedian in the 80s, but is worth watching according to movie critics, given that it is riding the whirlwind of CG predominant movies propelled by Hollywood such as 300, The Transformers, Die Hard 4 and so forth.


If you can’t hit the road during your break, try lying on your back in the shade of forest with legs dipped in the water, with a book in hand. Or you could just follow your own plan. The point is to entirely forget about work and the office during your break. But … never forget to drink copious amount of liquids in the summer. Also, let’s avoid road rage on our way back home despite stop-and-go traffic.


Have a terrific weekend, you all!


Hank



[Late for Dinner]


Jack took a long look at his speedometer before slowing down: 73 in a 55 zone. Fourth time in many months. How could a guy get caught so often?

When his car had slowed to 10 miles an hour, Jack pulled over, but only partially. Let the cop worry about the potential traffic hazard. Maybe some other car will tweak his backside with a mirror. The cop was stepping out of his car, the big pad in hand.

Bob? Bob from Church? Jack sunk farther into his trench coat. This was worse than the coming ticket. A cop catching a guy from his own church. A guy who happened to be a little eager to get home after a long day at the office. A guy he was about to play golf with tomorrow.

Jumping out of the car, he approached a man he saw every Sunday, a man he’d never seen in uniform. “Hi, Bob. Fancy meeting you like this.”

“Hello, Jack.” No smile. “Guess you caught me red-handed in a rush to see my wife and kids.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Bob seemed uncertain. Good.

“I’ve seen some long days at the office lately. I’m afraid I bent the rules a bit - just this once.” Jack toed at a pebble on the pavement. “Diane said something about roast beef and potatoes tonight. Know what I mean?”

“I know what you mean. I also know that you have a reputation in our precinct.”

Ouch. This was not going in the right direction. Time to change tactics. “What’d you clock me at?”

“Seventy. Would you sit back in your car please?”

“Now wait a minute here, Bob. I checked as soon as I saw you. I was barely nudging 65.” The lie seemed to come easier with every ticket.


“Please, Jack, in the car.”


Flustered, Jack hunched himself through the still-open door. Slamming it shut, he stared at the dashboard. He was in no rush to open the window. The minutes ticked by. Bob scribbled away on the pad. Why hadn't he asked for a driver’s license?


Whatever the reason, it would be a month of Sundays before Jack ever sat near this cop again. A tap on the door jerked his head to the left. There was Bob, a folded paper in hand. Jack rolled down the window a mere two inches, just enough room for Bob to pass him the slip.


“Thanks.” Jack could not quite keep the sneer out of his voice.


Bob returned to his police car without a word. Jack watched his retreat in the mirror. Jack unfolded the sheet of paper. How much was this one going to cost? Wait a minute. What was this? Some kind of joke? Certainly not a ticket. Jack began to read:


“Dear Jack,


Once upon a time I had a daughter. She was six when killed by a car. You guessed it -- a speeding driver. A fine and three months in jail, and the man was free. Free to hug his daughters. All three of them. I only had one, and I'm going to have to wait until Heaven before I can ever hug her again. A thousand times I've tried to forgive that man. A thousand times I thought I had. Maybe I did, but I need to do it again. Even now. Pray for me. And be careful, Jack, my son is all I have left.


- Bob”


Jack turned around in time to see Bob's car pull away and head down the road. Jack watched until it disappeared. A full 15 minutes later, he too, pulled away and drove slowly home, praying for forgiveness and hugging a surprised wife and kids when he arrived.


--------------------


Life is precious. Handle with care. This is an important message; please pass it along. Drive safely and carefully. Remember, cars are not the only things recalled by their maker.


[Lie Clocks]


Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gate, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

She asked, “What are all those clocks?”

St. Peter answered. “Those are lie-clocks. Everyone on earth has a lie-clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.


“Oh, whose clock is that?” said Hillary.

“That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands haven’t moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”

“Whose clock is that?”

“That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abe only told two lies in his entire life.”


Hillary asked, “Where’s Bill’s clock?”

“Bill’s clock is in my office. I’m using it as a ceiling fan.”



서울로부터의 탈출


여러분, 안녕하십니까?


대부분의 사람들은 해안지방 및 중부지역 등 저지대를 강타했던 계속되는 비에 신물이 나셨을 것입니다. 그래서 지금은 오히려 찌는듯한 열대더위가 함께 오더라도 햇빛을 그리워하고 계실른지 모르겠습니다.

걱정 마세요. 달이 지면 분명히 해가 떠오르듯이 장맛비는 지구 온난화로 최근에 더 심해진 열대더위와 함께 끝이 났습니다. 여름이 되면, 세계 기상 기구는 정전이 널리 발생하고 또한 열사병으로 수천 명이 사망하게 되는 이상 열대더위의 지속을 걱정하고 있습니다.


금년에도 열대더위는 이미 북미, 남아시아, 유럽 등 지구 전체를 휩쓸었습니다. 특히, 스웨덴, 크로아티아, 불가리아가 심했습니다. 금년 여름에는 열대더위가 안 왔으면 하는 바램은 불가능한 것을 바라는 것일 될 것입니다. 그 대신에 자연의 법칙에 순응해야 되겠지요.

살기 힘든 서울을 여름 휴가로 탈출합시다! 사무실이 텅 비는 것은 걱정 말고요. 이미 여름 휴가를 다녀왔다면, 되도록 냉방이 잘 된 사무실이나, 서점, 수퍼 마켓, 백화점, 극장 등 시원한 곳에 계시도록 하세요.

최근에 개봉된 컴퓨터 그래픽 위주의 국산 영화 디-워는 지난 해 이 맘 때쯤 개봉되어 신기록을 수립했던 영화 괴물의 관람기록을 최단 상영기간 내에 깨뜨림으로써 사람들의 주목을 받고 있습니다. 디-워는 1980년대 가장 인기있던 코메디언 심형래씨가 감독을 했지만, “300,” “트랜스포머들,” “다이하드 4편” 등 헐리우드 영화들에 의하여 불고 있는 컴퓨터 그래픽 위주 영화의 조류를 타고 있어 볼 만하다고 영화 평론가들은 말하고 있습니다.

여름 휴가 중에 여행을 떠나지 못한다면, 물에 발을 담근 채 숲 속 그늘에 누워 책을 보세요. 혹은, 당초 여행 계획에 따라 그냥 떠나시면 됩니다. 중요한 점은 휴가 중에는 일과 사무실은 깡그리 잊어버리는 것입니다. 하지만, 여름에는 물을 많이 마셔야 된다는 것을 절대 잊지 마세요. 그리고, 집으로 돌아올 때에는 비록 교통 체증이 심해도 열을 내고 싸우지 맙시다.

여러분 모두, 멋진 주말 보내세요!

행크



[저녁 시간에 늦어서]